Mello of Nazareth
by FastIce
Summary: "No. Never. I'm NOT being Joseph in the Nativity - can't I swap with Matt? It's not like he DOES anything!" One slightly swearish word.


**A cute Christmas fic. The idea came a little late, but it's still December, right????**

_December 12, 13 days to Christmas_

"No. Never." Mello looked up from the script in his hand. "I am not playing Joseph. Especially not if _Linda_ is going to play Mary. It's NOT FAIR! WHY?" Roger Ruvie rolled his eyes. Why indeed. Why, every year, was he forced to go through this hell?

The answer lay with Watari.

"It'll be good for the children to learn about different cultures." His boss had said. Roger had just been thinking of a good excuse for next year when his thoughts were interrupted.

"WHY can't I swap with MATT? HE'S not got to say anything. All HE has to do is stand AT THE BACK, doing NOTHING."

"Matthew has been cast as the star because, unlike you, Mello, he can keep quiet." Mello had to agree that he couldn't fault Roger's logic.

"Well, why can't I swap with NEAR? HE only has to do a little more than Matt, he's a sodding SHEEP! All he has to do is say "baaaa" and follow Kate and Tim around! It's FAVOURITISM and I could probably have this place SHUT DOWN." Roger rolled his eyes. Mello had been giving him trouble all year, and he was not going to crumble now.

"Watch that mouth, Mello, that's quite enough. You are playing Joseph, and that's final. Now go to your room, I want those lines learned by the day after tomorrow." Roger closed his eyes and took a deep breath as Mello stomped off up the stairs and he was showered by flecks of plaster from the ceiling.

_December 17, 8 days to Christmas _

"I said to my friends "That is a special star and we should follow it."" The boy on stage must have been about thirteen, and couldn't be bothered with the entire thing. Roger was really sympathising. However, he couldn't show that, so he simply said

"No, no, no, James, please lower your cape from in front of your face and..." J was not looking pleased. He lowered his cape and settled for simply holding his script up and not bothering to hide it. Roger internally facepalmed – he had thought that the boy was doing it in order to seem sinister. "...please learn your lines."

They moved on to the next scene, and had almost got to the end of the play, when...

"And then, you, Matt, will raise your arms and say "Thank you for coming, and good night." Can you do that for me?" Everyone on stage turned to look at Matt. "Matthew? Matthew!" At which point, A, who had been roped into this just a day ago when the child playing Gabriel fell ill, reached down and unplugged the boy from his headphones, through which he had been listening to "The Nightmare before Christmas" , which was playing on his PSP.

"Wha?" A poked him. "Oh. Happy Christmas and good night!"

_December 20, 5 days to Christmas, and the day of the play_

"My god, I hate tea towels." Mello cast his eyes upwards to where he could just see the edge of the one on his head. Matt scratched at the remarkably itchy, spiky yellow headdress he himself wore. Roger fished his address to the public outside, and Linda grabbed her broom, stumbled on, and the play began.

"I'm sorry, but there is no room."

"Yes there is, there's a light on!"

"There aint!"

"There is!"

"Well, there's only the stable round the back..."

"Can't you do a bit better? My wife's going to have a baby!"

"Can't help that, s' nothing to do with me." Mello turned to the audience.

"I know. It's nothing to do with me, either."

At which point the audience laughed, and Roger heaved sigh of relief. Mello's first lines had not suffered embellishment. Much.

The play ran smoothly, with laughs in all the right places. The six year old angels, with the fifteen year old leading them on, sang their song, and the wise men arrived without looking like a small troupe of Draculas. The audience went home very much satisfied, and the Wammy's house went home confident in the knowledge that the whole rigmarole was over for another year. However, the icing on the cake really came for Mello and Matt a little later when Mello finally figured out the good part about playing Joseph.

"I had a bigger part than Near!" Mello's Christmas was made.

**Didn't take long to wrote and one again, I'm sorry it was late. But please review, even if you only say a few lines, because it is nice to know that **_**someone**_** reads it...**


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